Recently someone I know in the gym lifted up their shirt revealing their six pack and moaned about the amount of weight they had put on, to emphasise this they pulled at tiny bit of flesh as a sign of their “weight issue.” The level of self hate was quite evident as apparently this teeny weeny bit of flesh was also a sign of failure, laziness and too much indulgence, “I won’t find a girlfriend looking like this,” he moaned. I was thinking most people working out would be very happy with abs like that but in his case it seems like they will never be good enough.
I would love to say this isn’t common but sadly this type of behaviour is on the increase especially in the male population. More than ever before we are bombarded with images of the perfect looking man with abs and pecs being the norm for what is classed as sexy, hot, fit and successful. Anything else tends to generate comments of disgust from the body fascists being conditioned into believing it’s looking “ripped” or nothing.
What makes it worse is that most of the images we see of apparent “perfection” have been airbrushed and the models dehydrated to make their veins and bodies look even more defined. This is twisting our levels reality into a distorted version with levels of perfection unattainable leading to misery, depression and the “i’m not good enough” negative program making life much harder.
If you suspect you are falling into this trap then a wake up call might be needed.
Out of Balance Checklist:
Do you spend most if not all of your week obsessing on what you will be eating to maintain or reach “perfection.”
Social events may stress you out as they focus around drinking and eating all those “wrong foods.”
Tempted to take steroids or other supplements offering miraculous ways to get the body of “perfection.”
Are you constantly searching the net for the next big supplement, nutrition regime or exercise technique which will solve your body issues?
Looking in the mirror maybe very hard to do as your self hate inner dialogue kicks in.
Stress, anger and frustration creeping in as you become more irritable?
Dressing in baggy clothes to hide the body you hate so much?
Choosing clothes to wear getting stressful?
Going to the gym or exercising everyday?
Seeking comments about your body and looks too often?
If you are nodding at some of these then it may be time to step back a little and try and get some reality and a develop a healthier perspective towards your fitness goals.
Your self esteem is taking a bashing and this lack of acceptance of yourself will drive it down further. Acceptance by the way isn’t about giving up or being complacent, it is about changing what you can and letting go of what you can’t as well as making peace with yourself.
What is life meant to be about for you? What are you living for?
Do you want to spend the rest of your time focusing on levels of perfection which cannot be achieved?
What would happen if you just let this obsession grow? What are the consequences?
Learn some healthy thought management with mindfulness as this can help you become aware of negative inner chatter which you don’t have to listen and react to.
Think about what you will gain by exploring getting life back into balance?
Start focusing on what is good about you and remind yourself of your past achievements, what else in life do you want to experience and achieve?
Life is too short to be trapped within a limiting negative belief system which will hold back your life. If you want a life of growth and variety then it’s time to explore changing however you can those limiting ideas of yourself and life. There is so much more to you than being stuck in the shallow end of looks.
This post was written by Paul (@TheLifeDoctor) .
The Life Doctor is a Therapy Clinic based in Brighton and Hove focuses on using proactive therapies such as hypnotherapy, IEMT, NLP, Life Coaching Counselling, Mindfulness, EFT and MET to change your issues quickly, thoroughly and as successfully, helping achieve great results including fitness, training and well-being.